When Should I Take My Child to a Psychologist?

The practical thresholds for seeing a child psychologist, including how long a difficulty has lasted, how much it is interfering with normal life, and the signs that mean don't wait.

Take your child to a psychologist when a difficulty has lasted more than a few weeks, is interfering with school, friendships, sleep or family life, and is not shifting with the usual support at home. You do not need to wait for a crisis, and you do not need a diagnosis to start.

Most parents wait longer than they need to, usually because they are unsure whether what they are seeing is a problem or a phase. Here is how clinicians actually think about that line.

The two questions that matter

Duration and interference. Almost every judgement about whether a child needs professional support comes down to those two.

• Duration: has this been going on for more than two to four weeks, beyond an obvious trigger like a move, a loss, or a hard term at school?
• Interference: is it getting in the way of the things a child's life is made of, meaning school attendance and learning, friendships, sleep, eating, activities they used to enjoy, and family functioning?

A week of unsettled sleep after a scary film is a phase. Six weeks of refusing to sleep alone, with the whole household reorganised around it, is worth a conversation.

Common reasons families come in

• Anxiety that has narrowed a child's world: school reluctance, avoiding activities, needing constant reassurance
• Big behaviours: meltdowns beyond what you would expect for the age, aggression, or defiance that is not budging
• Low mood, withdrawal, irritability, or a child saying they are useless or hate themselves
• Sleep that has broken down and stayed broken
• Friendship difficulties, exclusion, or bullying
• A specific event: bereavement, separation, accident, illness, or something frightening
• School has raised a concern about learning, attention or behaviour
• A change you cannot explain, where a previously settled child is suddenly not

When not to wait

Some things warrant contact now rather than after another term of watching.

• Any talk of not wanting to be alive, self-harm, or wanting to disappear
• Not eating, or eating patterns that have changed sharply
• A child who has stopped going to school altogether
• Behaviour that is unsafe for them or someone else
• A sudden, marked change in a child who was previously fine

If you are worried about immediate safety, contact your GP, go to your nearest emergency department, or call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800. Do not wait for a psychology appointment.

Reasons parents delay, and why they usually do not hold

It might be a phase

It might be. Phases resolve. If it has lasted more than a month and is costing your child school, friends or sleep, the phase argument has stopped being useful.

They will grow out of it

Many children do. The difficulty is that childhood anxiety in particular tends to consolidate when avoidance is allowed to run, because each avoided situation teaches the child that avoidance works. Earlier is generally easier.

I do not want them labelled

Seeing a psychologist does not produce a diagnosis. Plenty of the children we see never receive one, because the work is about a specific difficulty rather than a category.

It might be my fault

This one keeps more families out of the room than any other. Children have difficulties in loving, competent families. Bringing your child in is not evidence of failure. It is one of the more useful things a parent does.

What happens if you do come in

The first appointment is mostly information gathering, usually with parents heavily involved and often on their own for younger children. The clinician wants to understand what is happening, what you have tried, and what you are hoping for. There is no obligation to commit to a long course of work.

Sometimes the outcome is a few sessions of parent-focused work and nothing more. Sometimes it is a longer course of therapy. Occasionally it is a recommendation for assessment. You will get an honest read either way.

Where we see children

• Therapy for children and adolescents
• Psychologist in Randwick
• Psychology in Kingsford

In summary

If a difficulty has run beyond a few weeks and is interfering with school, friendships, sleep or family life, that is the threshold. Act sooner for anything involving safety, eating, or complete school refusal. You do not need a diagnosis, a crisis, or certainty to make the call.